Guest post from John Gallagher
You’re performing. Suddenly, a voice cuts from out of the darkness and interrupts your act. “You suck!”. It’s the heckler, the worst fear of any stand up comedian. When a heckle happens, you are forced to respond and if you show any weakness you risk losing the audience's respect and attention. “But John!” You--presumably a comedian, aspiring or otherwise--exclaim, “how will I know what to do? If responding to a heckler is a matter of life or death, how will I know how to defeat these awful creatures!?”
Well, take heed dear reader, I've listed the different archetypes of classic villainous hecklers, so you'll be prepared to defeat them when the moment arises...and trust me, it will.
Heckler 1: The Conversationalist
In 2019, it is crazy that we still have to tell people that it's rude to carry on a conversation during a live performance. These people epitomize an epidemic in modern day life: they believe that the agreed upon rules of society do not apply to them. These hecklers are either drooling mouthbreathers incapable of understanding how a loud conversation with their friend ruins a show or are selfish egomaniacs that need every event centered around them.
Conversationalists need a friendly reminder that they are being a jackass and a joke at their expense that usually does the trick. Some variation of “this isn't Netflix, everyone can hear you" is a good enough and playful way to let them know they are being rude or obnoxious. In the event that they still are not being quiet, you can usually appeal to the rest of the crowd to voice their disapproval. Any crowd who is enjoying the show / paid for tickets hates a heckler just as much as the comedian does. They paid for a show not to hear another idiot from the audience.
Heckler 2: The Cheerleader / The Woo’er
This heckler says, "woo" a lot. They hear something that validates them so much they feel the need to exclaim to the room, "That's right!". If you tell a self-deprecating joke about your appearance, they will say "That's Not True!" Just like a stage mom for a young actress or a drunk dad shirtless at a Little League game, these people think they are being supportive while they are really just shirtless with pants full of poop. Their supposed supportive behavior is really a pathetic cry of “look at me!”
Because the interruptions appear to be positive, the cheerleader will act surprised or hurt when they are confronted so it is very important to confront them gently. "I was having fun!" or "I was helping you!" they cry.
Let them know they are being rude by making the cheerleader aware that you had heard them. Something like “Damn, you really get fired up about taco sauce” or “We found the people with HPV” lets them know you notice them being loud and they usually back off. If they keep making noises, make fun of them more but if you go too far, you run the risk of losing the rest of the crowd.
Heckler 3: The Drunk
People love to drink at comedy shows and with two drink minimums, it can get a bit rowdy from time to time. The drunk archetype is a lethal combo of all of the above hecklers combined with booze. This causes them to be untethered from feelings like shame and regret until after the comedy show is long over and your set is ruined. Drunks are the biggest disruptors of comedy shows.
On top of displaying loud rude behavior, they have no shame and will only feel more justified in their actions ruining the show when they get singled out. In the mind of a drunk, any attention is positive attention. The only way to defeat a drunk is to make fun of them from the stage and hope that they feel shame through the thick fog of booze in their brain. If you can’t do that, hopefully an embarrassed friend or spouse will get them to be quiet but even then, they may continue to disrupt the show.
If you can get them to be quiet, congratulations, you have slayed the dragon. Often times, the best course of action is to get them to leave. Having them around will only create more trouble for yourself or other comedians on the show.
That’s all, I hope it helps you. Never forget, all hecklers are cowards who must be defeated and deserve whatever bad things happen to them.
